David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is The WikiLeaks Guy"

10. Name on mailbox reads 'WikiLeaks Guy'

9. Spends most of his free time burying stuff in the yard
8. He insists you speak directly into his necktie
7. More than once, you've caught him crawling in your ventilation ducts
6. He told you about Jeter's new contract at Thanksgiving
5. He insists you speak directly into his necktie — that joke was already in the Top Ten. We really need someone checking these things
4. On recycling day, he puts out cans, bottles, and classified documents
3. His idea of small talk is 'Good morning' and 'Want the coordinates of our secret military base in the Strait of Hormuz?'
2. Any time you talk to him, all he says is, 'I know. I know. I know . . . '
1. Gets drunk and takes a 'WikiLeak' on your porch — Hayo!